highs and lows

Somedays, my smile's aren't fake or forced, I'm not as sleepy, I'm motivated. Those are my highs.

Other days, I don't want one person to look at me because then I have to smile and converse, and waste energy doing so, I'm hungry, sleepy, on the verge of tears every hour. Those are the lows.

I'm not the most sensitive girl in the world, you get thick skin after every curve and crevice in your body gets pinched, measured, critiqued. Someone may tell you, you don't have what it takes, or think you still need a few more weeks to diet. My feelings don't get hurt when people think and say negative things to me or think negative things about me. That's my motivation to keep fighting. Keep working. Prove them wrong, prove to myself that I do have what it takes to do whatever it is that I want.

I have 8 more days to go, and at the rate I'm going, I'll have 5 more lows and 3 more highs ha. It's hard to stay strong 100% of the time when your body is begging you for a break, begging you for more food. The mind is one powerful thing, I'm still training mine to be stronger than my body. Its strange to say, but I think without cardio, I would have lost my mind by now. Those long runs are my chance to clear my mind, release all the stress thats building up, just go. Other times, the cardio ends up being my stress, with legs so tired they dont want to lift of the ground but I keep going.

I have a list of things I still have to do before next week.

Nails done

Hair done (its all kinds of funny colors right now, need to handle it)

My SUIT ISNT HERE YET!!!

More Posing Practice

Water Load

Water Deplete

buy my day of comp food (sodium free rice cakes which heb has been out of for 3 days)

***Im proud to say I currently have Natural Peanut Butter and Roasted Almond Butter in my fridge that has yet to be touched..and this isnt the jar kind, this is the crushed my own peanuts kind, ya kno, Whole Foods peanut crusher machine, that kind**

More Cardio

3 MOre Workouts :) YESSS

Pack

Take my Final Exam!

Oh my, school and work. They are still very much there. This weekend I will knock out some of this list, hair and nails for sure, and I'll start my study guide for my Final. Everything will fall into place. Lets just hope I get my suit soon, and pray it fits! I'm almost there.