I bet you're wondering what happened after my lowest low...well, I picked myself up from the floor, dusted myself off, sucked it up and pushed forward. So what if my belly poked out a lil more, as did the bum, there was a healthy body underneath it all, and I was gonna hold my head high. Sometimes, even now, it is frustrating looking in the mirror, knowing where I'd like to be, and not being there, makes me angry. But that anger inside of me is why I keep pushing forward. January 2010 came fast, and with January comes competition season, another year of shows to prep for. 12 weeks is all it truly takes, the first show of the year was in March. Could I be ready?? Ofcourse I could, or so I thought. So my competition prep program began in January..AM cardio.check.meals every 3 hrs. check. weight training 5 days a week. check. weight shedding off...UNCHECK. what in the world? why wasnt my body changing? where was this 6 pack of mine???? Surely it was coming soon....well I wasnt 100% dieting nor was I doing cardio 100%. And my body knew it I suppose.
Here comes March, weight still high, body still soft, will I compete this year? My heart hurts, I'm ready to quit this dream I have. Its impossible, the thought that continued to cross my mind was that my body wasnt meant to be small. That picture of me with the newspaper was another attempt at "remotivating" myself that I can definitely lose weight and compete again. Four weeks later, I looked exactly the same.
And so that is when I gave in. Stopped working out. just took some time away from training and working out. Done.
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