NPC National Championships 2010 is not my show. I wish I could say I had it together this whole time and that I've given 100% everyday. I would be lying if I said that and so I wont. Don't get me wrong, I tried, but trying and doing are two very different actions. Life caught up with me, work caught up with me, stress caught up with me. I can keep fighting through it and training 89% for this show, or step back, catch my breath and try again when I'm ready to give 100%. Right now my mind is begging me for a break. My body is begging me for a break. And I have broken one too many times to keep going.
I have this goal, this one ultimate goal. Its what I train for, what I eat for, everyday in my mind I know what I want. But its MY goal, and I will fight for it when I'M ready and not when others think I'm ready. I'm not doing this for anybody but me, so if I know I need to stop, well, regardless of what others think, I've decided to stop.
Where do I go from here? What exactly happens when for the past 7 months I've done nothing but trained, dieted, slept, ate, breathed nothing but competition? I'm not quite sure. I actually have no idea what to do from here.
I felt like a failure today for a brief second. I'm not really quitting, I'm prolonging the process so I can come in better, stronger, leaner and reach the goal I've been dreaming about for the past 2 yrs. I'll come back. And when I do I'll be ready both physically and mentally. As for right now, well, I guess I have to figure that out now dont I?
Back to the drawing board.
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” - Lance Armstrong
Wise decision, only you know your self. Sometimes we gotta step away for a sec to comeback stronger for a lifetime.Can't wait to see your next competition, they won't be ready for u!
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