If u want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.

I want to say its been raining in my world for two weeks the least. A lot of stresses have suddenly fallen on my shoulders and keeping it together has been anything but easy. Actually, I wouldn't say I've kept it together at all. There has been a lot of fake smiling going on these days. I will try not to complain though, obstacles don't stop me, at the end of the day the same thing is always on my mind. That prize. So, I'll maintain my composure and keep pushing forward.

While I've been putting up with this "rain" I have not been able to devote near as much attention to my training or my nutrition. Unacceptable. How can I be a winner if I don't give 100%? The truth is I can't. So, I've picked myself up from the ground, and I'm ready now to keep going. This isn't my first time falling, I've proven to myself once before that I won't be defeated mentally, and so now, I'll prove it again.

So where am I? Well, Im 10 weeks out from stepping on stage. Im give or take 20lbs away from the weight I need to be in order to compete at the size I was for my last show. So, that gives me 2lbs a week to get to that goal. Yes, I know what your thinking 20lbs gained in less than a month. Technically it's not 20, but somedays it is, I dunno my body is confused. Now about this body. There are muscles this time that need extra attention and attention they will get. I refuse to be part of the 'NR' list. (I believe that means non-ranked but I'm not sure). I'm starting over. Back at square one. I believe I've had enough mental breakdowns now that I should be good to go for the next 10 weeks.

My next debut will be a good one. Prepare yourself.