Okay okay. I'm usually the ambitious, self motivated, I'll prove everybody wrong type of girl. I got a little lost this time around. Placed my focus on a million things at once, and will say training got the backburner. Going from show to show with only 16 weeks in between is no fun for anybody. Because well, it took me about 14 to train for the first one, plus 16 more to prep for my next one which technically ended up being 13 because I took some time off. Either way it adds up to A LONG LONG TIME of wearing down my body and testing my mind.
Im sitting at 9 weeks away from the biggest event of my life. Well maybe not of my life, but of my competition life, its huge. I freaked myself out and turned this competition into a monster I couldn't handle and lost all of my confidence, and threw the towel in before I even made it to the stage. Through my freaking out process I learned I'm quite the emotional eater. Who would've thought? Mental breakdown=Beeline for the Pantry. Its happened on more than one occasion now, and I'd like to say I'm ashamed, but I'm just realizing I'm normal. I have to learn self-control just like everyone does (or atleast I hope others do this). Its a struggle.
So today, realizing "Oh snap I have 9 weeks!" and seeing what I see in the mirror, and on the scale I've realized, I have to put away all the negative thoughts, the freak outs, the mental breakdowns. I have no time for that. I have no time to sleep in, no time to skip cardio, no time to emotionally eat. Clock's ticking and its not working in my favor at all.
This is the moment where I take my program into overdrive and push like no other. I also think its time I put a little pause on my blog. Sharing my uphill battle was such a good feeling, but sharing the downhill slope isn't quite as easy to partake in. I won't say my blogging days are over, but for now, my mind is on one thing and one thing only....
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